Uncooperative Alice

I seem to have done something terribly wrong, but I can’t figure it out.

Everything was fine, all the way through the colorwork. Then I divided for front and back. Fine. I’m following the instructions for the 43” bust, and when I end the division/armhole shaping I have 93 stitches–precisely the number the instructions say I should have. The very next thing I’m supposed to do is knit 45, place the center stitch on a safety pin, and put the remaining stitches on a holder. So I knit 45, put one on a safety pin and put the remaining 47 on a holder. Huh? if the one on the safety pin is supposed to be the center, there should be 45 on the holder. So maybe I messed up. I recount. Nope. Did I forget to decrease somewhere? Well, let’s see: 45+1+47=93. So… weird. Usually if there’s a mistake in the math, it’s mine. But after playing with the numbers and re-reading the pattern, I have determined the best course of action is to just knit 46, put one on the safety pin, and put the remaining 46 on the holder. Now the real fun begins.

I have followed the instructions, although I now have the extra stitch, which I account for each time the directions give me a stitch count. Yep. I still have one more. No biggie. The kicker is that after finishing the decreases, I’m supposed to “work even until armhole measures 8.5”. But at the end of the decreases, the armhole is m-u-c-h longer than 8.5”. This is going to be a problem. So, I figure now that I’m knitting flat, my gauge is bigger–I should have switched to a smaller needle when knitting flat. So I check my gauge. I’m actually getting BOTH stitch and row gauge. I’m mystified.

Now, I started this so long ago, I don’t remember what my gauge on the unwashed swatch was (I started it pre-ravelry, and I don’t seem to have written it down on the pattern, or anywhere else handy now), but I seem to recall that the swatch blocked out to gauge, which means I should be getting more stitches per inch right now, and that getting gauge in the pre-washed sweater indicates a problem.

So, I guess I’ll have to measure my gauge again on the bottom of the sweater, likely rip out the top part, swatch for the same gauge I got on the bottom, and use whatever size needles that takes to re-do the top.

Crap.

Let's Do the Time Warp Again

With apologies to Rocky Horror Picture Show fans. (It cracks me up that Wikipedia's entry for "Time Warp" is about the Rocky Horror Picture Show. They tell you straight off, that if you're looking "For the concept of traveling to different points in time, see Time travel.")

Anyway, I've been a bit distracted by my own time warp here.

Time Warp, Exhibit One, Alice:
This is my progress on Alice.

Glacially slow? Yes. But not quite the time warp I'm talking about.

This is my row counter.


I am supposed to decrease on every eighth row. My row counter says I'm there, but I know that the row counter was just on "3". I could maybe believe "4". There's no way it should be on 8. But when I count the rows from the last decrease, sure enough--8. And this is the second time this has happened on this sweater. I seem to be missing bits of time... If it happens again, I'm going to have to consider the possibility that I'm a victim of alien abduction. (Not shocking, considering the number of UFOs around here...) Hey, at least they let me bring my knitting.

Time Warp, Exhibit Two, The Never-Ending Sock:
It seems that no matter how much knitting time I devote to this sock for the DBF,

It never gets done. (I swear, it's like a Winchester Mystery sock. Let's hope I don't wind up knitting a stairway to nowhere...) Started in August (pre-blog), introduced on the blog in September, updated on the blog in November, and I still haven't finished the first one! Well, I suppose that's one way to avoid "Second Sock Syndrome"...

Time Warp, Exhibit Three, Hey, Where'd This Hat Come From?:
And then there's this. The strangest of them all. In the midst of all this S-L-O-W knitting (including the slow knitting that I apparently do unconsciously, but still very slowly), this appears:

Yep. It's a hat. I was just about done with the DBF's scarf

(not really this red in real life...)

(this is closer, but it's not really this purple, either.)

so I figured I'd start on a hat for him. I found a top-down pattern, but wanted to play around with the pattern a bit before I started on his hat. I grabbed a wool/hemp blend out of the stash, and the next thing I knew, I had a hat. Me. The world's slowest knitter. Time warp, I'm telling you.

Next post will be more scarf and hat details. I'm headed to bed now. This Time Warp thing is a bit more than I can take.

("Say--Do any of you guys know how to Madison?")